eternally yours.

Sometimes I wish I could just expose who you really are. Why should I have to keep this all bottled inside, keeping this secret from everyone. They should know the real you. The monster that I know. Even with all the hate and anger that I have toward you, I still keep it all in, instead of screaming out. Showing the real image of you. I cannot take this fakeness, when I know what you are. Who you are. What you did. Those nightmares still haunt me. Every single night. Fear passes over me whenever I see your face. Would exposing you change these fears or relieve me of my recurring night terrors? I wish I knew what to do. 

so i might kinda like you. who knows. just maybe.

just a simple little “hi” can make me go crazy.

i cant help but smile when i see your face.

i cant help it when my heart begins to race.

i open my mouth but nothing comes out.

youll never know what im thinking about.

my thoughts are silenced, and i just wanna scream.

youre amazing and basically the guy of my dreams.

how to say these words? they are seem so new,

that i might be, possibly maybe, falling for you.

well, hello there tumblr. How are you on this fine evening at 1am? GUESS WHAT?! its friday, friday. and we are so gettin’ down today. ;) well, Im currently pulling all of my hair out of my head, due to this stressful research paper I must do for english class. Taking me back to high school, where research papers would be the death of me. I have to compare and contrast Susan B. Anthony and Rosa Parks. SUCH FUN. Thinking this might be easy, until I realize I must find my own sources, instead of having Mrs. Dempsey simply showing me to my section in the library where I can find all I need to complete my paper. No. I need to somehow come up with 5 research sources that will correspond with my topic. I am so lost. Oh, and did I mention this is all due tomorrow? Yep, SO MUCH FUN. Kill me now? 

How do some people do it? Balance everything all out? Working full time, going to school full time, AND making time to make sure all your friendships are perfect. It just seems impossible to me. In some way, SOMETHING will go wrong. A part of the puzzle will be missing and the whole thing is ruined and you cant put it back together to complete the picture. How does one perfect this time management? To be able to get all your homework done, while still being able to make sure you talk to each and every one of your friends that day, and still be able to sit down and breathe for a second. I want this skill. More than ever. Though I take on WAAY more than I should, I want to be able to go to school each day, be the the perfect employee to Goodwill, get perfect grades, and keep up perfect relationships with all the people that hold a dear spot in my heart. But what if I cant? What if i fail? To me, failure just isn’t an option. I MUST succeed in everything with flying colors. I can not fail….

writing can be really boring if you have to write about something boring. but for this essay im writing, its actually pretty fun (: so here’s the beginning of my essay:

What would life be like without music? It would be like a rainbow without its vibrant colors or an ocean deprived of its water. The world would not be the same without the strength and power of music. It can life my spirits when there is sorrow, can brighten any gloomy day, and can turn a frown into a smile. I could play a song and feel the music surround me like a warm blanket. Just hearing a melody creates peacefulnes within me. Whether its the strum of a guitar or the beat of a drum. To be able to feel a note within your heart and soul is incredible and indescribable. Music is what I turn to when I need to get away from the rough realities of life. It helps me through everything and life would be so difficult without it.